Suicidal

• Hey man are you ok Wes? 

man I don’t even know anymore my depression won’t let me rest. 

sometimes my anger defeats the goals to test. 

inside my head it’s the unwelcome guest. 

like my grandpa but he got shot because he was beating her down

then later in life my dad was ready to drown.

he took his own life and I was 11 and the world became real. 

began living a life I wasn’t prepared to feel. 

I turned to drugs to cope and deal. 

it was my shield to walk in life. 

never realized the ruts I was causing, then another Lawson dead, it’s never pausing. 

unlike the rest of our bloodline she was innocent 

but I can’t deal because I’m scared of another suicidal incident. 

this curse can’t be some kind of coincidence. 

I find myself mad at being a coward like him. 

he never got to see us be disappointed  nor grim.

I’ve felt that. maybe he did it better.

he left without a reason why or even a letter

he’s been dead longer in my life than alive

i tried in this life and things took a nose dive. I just pray and pray that I get the strength for another day. 

because  maybe today I actually feel alive

Roots

Nocturnal. Paretenal. Mental. Blackness is what remains. The darkness sustained stains.  This where I reign. Where I drain. All light. To receive and retrieve back my sight. To see through the blindness of all your bullshit just like my bullshit and blindness. Because insomnia pulls the strings during these ungodly hours. As these Un godly gods devour. Sleep paralysis showers. Fck the grief. I’m a wanted man. Underground realms and not kingdoms of men I’m

Welcome. Like the fearless Fenians the tales I tell them. Free again to roam again their lands their many men. Of these our legendary Irish army. Their blood in our veins running coursing through me.

The gods keeping a watchful eye on the lad that stole all stars. But for how long? Not all shadows come bleeding at night. But the lessons you learn could eventually save your life. The Sídbhe know me as I walk through the black of the forest. Bare feet touching upon the soil where my forefathers bled, ina rage losing their heads. keeping their oaths, keeping their faiths. You walk that , a true path you are let pass. As long as you have modesty in your eyes and a heavy heart is what leads you. Protected  under their gaze you are. One misestep though your broken lika pain of glass. Spiritually. Mentality. Picking you apart like Catholistic mass. Shatter you bury you deep. Like a rock thrown through a stained sacred window. Your Eternal sleep.

Your mates with demons faces. Happy heads that could quickly erase us. With their toxic outbreaks. All deadliest creepers come with arms outstretched like snakes. Wrapping around you like Medusa. One day their venom will flow down your neck under Luna. Unless you realize their through self sooner. But I already know who you are. Don’t make that mistake. That inside that inside out social mask of yours. Tells the world what you be. I know who’s the first to go.  First to flow. The first blind that will no longer see. Like the blood red waters of Babylon. Trust a McConn. Positive I am. Positive I speak. But make that move your whole family for centuries shall weep. 

Transparency I can see right through. No reflections no essence. No point being in my presence. 

I just want my freedom their genuinety. The way society slithers it gets harder for me but there is no fckin way their stopping me. Living life. Breathing death. Morrigan is not claiming me yet.

Some find it easy to see through this transparency. Some are blinded, blurred vision and twisted from its jealousy, eerily, testing people, tyranny, warily, draining ye, complacency is the enemy keeping you doped up and empty. We walk in with our hearts split open in hand  taking chance. But you learn through experience how to escape that trance.

Lyrical content couldn’t give a fck. Unless I’m reaching someone that’s going through a fckd up life we call  this game of chess. Their is no need for this greed. Negativity I’ll burn it to the ground at all cost and all and everyone of it seeds. Greatest achievement in life is the confidence and belief for yourself without strife and needs. And I want the same for you all. Brothers and sisters we can make this conscious positivity change together. Just a matter of focusing. And following through. Never doubt your self never forget you. Together. Forever.

Reenergize. Surmise during a sunrise after a new moon cries. Just see what will come to pass. 

You got learn to see through that shit so the further can you go.

These realities warping

Sending messages to my consciousness. Telling me no backing down. 

"We're coming to back to take what is ours." 

The unfortunate execution of

Souls in confusion.

 "Accept us for who we are or your house will fall to the people of delusion. My people.

Like poison injected.

The smell of some are already systematically  infected. No need for lying. And not talking bout CovID I’m talking about your lack of a spine. But I’m not hear to preach only problems of mine. The Dagda possess me his strength and his club of life is heavy to lift. But I see who’s worthy to who’s spirit I rift.

Poker face

Poker face

 

Don't poker face me like that, 

When I tell you not to lean on my wall.

My house is spick-and-span.

My room is a delight-

For complimenting  colours.  

Colours that spruce these walls, 

And fine defines these curtain falls_

To hide the stains, 

Of my secrets in every inch. 

So don't poker face me like that,

When I tell you not to lean on my wall.

THIS NEW DAY IN JULY

NEW DAY IN JULY

The drizzling rain

platters on the roof

echoes the anguish I had wish it goes away

The cool winds swore silently to me, a good season

this is a new day in July.

The flowers blossom 

The petals glow

ready to receive dews of comfort

it's a new day;

the birds pipe,

 rousing the dead woodland 

this is a new day in July

To receive the bliss of the heart

from him, who opens up the sky

to give what it has taken from earth

open up arms and feel the gentle touch of the new day

wear it like a ceremonial regalia 

this is a new day in July

This new day in July

not like the one used last night

first of its kind

blessed and promising

SOUL TRADE

SOUL TRADE

I once loved but not anymore

I once prayed for your good 

when you did me no good

but now I know I'm not bound to you

You caused me pain, you who charred my damn soul

You have drowned me in a sea of destruction

I hate to see what I've become

oh! what a wreck you have made of me

Hate all you want, the feeling is mutual

Trained my soul to hail on it own

Your misfortune a song I pray to sing

on this bland lips of mine

I seek solace in aliens

Unknown men, my chum

my secrets known to a profligate

I trade my soul for hatred

I wait no more for justice

This busted soul on atoll

mere mortals brawl with spirit

Only traded soul triumph!

Squelching and squashing

Squelching and squashing

-

-

I stopped by an acumen.

He was quite a gentleman.

I removed my head

And place it in the palm of his hand.

Than I ask him to listen

To the war battling in my cerebrum.

He obeyed patiently

And was listening to the war carefully...

The war between the opinions and judgmentations

Scuffling in my cerebrum.

He failed to fathom

Their undersized differences

And returned my head back in my hand...

Hence so I moved on

And stopped by someone

Who is a sage, an exemplary...

I did the same rituals,

Removed my head

And place it in the palm of his hand.

He was listening to the war carefully... 

The war between unfolding and lamenting

Scuffling in my cerebrum

He failed to fathom

Their undersized differences.

Hence so I moved on

Squelching and squashing

With an outlook for a change.

Meaningless

Meaningless

Their isn't any compulsion to find the meaning in unmeaningful meanings...

then why am I such a reconnoiter  positioned for the information?

No one has coercion me to understand these ununderstandable thoughts...

So why would I stop at these unanswerable questions and waste my time?

Sometimes we waste too much time in finding meaning in everything.

And sometimes in this hunt,  the meaning looses it's meaning.

Piece of advice

Piece of advice

For a responsive conversation, politeness is a fundamental persuasion.

Be aware of delicacy of the colloquy, to avoid mistake in comprehending the policy of exchange.

 

Sometimes unwanted Intellectual arrogance,  cultivates  insignificant disagreements.

Impolite trust for a right answer,  will always be unanswered.

Look at life as a healing poetry, not as a war.

Understand the degree of someone's pain,  before using hurting words.

Become the best commence for a heart to heart consideration,

Instead of being the best in choosing hurtful means.

I'm just a poet not an advisor, but today I feel like giving some piece of advices.

JOB HUNTING

JOB HUNTING

Scouting for a labor 

Handing out in my arms, 

Stack of smudged sheets

Limbs trudged on street shit

I wandered deserted cabins 

Seeking for a stint

Peeking into every store

I sauntered under the glaring sun

When would it halt 

For I crave no more

This pain, for it sting so much

I want to live 

Breath to see another day

Trashing this stench sheet in the rain 

Laundered and decent once again

IN MEMORY OF GEORGE FLOYD

YESTERDAY,

I had been in the Atlantic,

In my dream, inside the Atlantic,

Then in my dream,

The white silky Atlantic opened it's door,

Not to let me in, but out,

Then I stepped out,

Outside the Atlantic,

Outside,

It was as black as George Floyd was,

On it was written,

We Are Black But Deep White Inside.

LAST NIGHT,

I had a dream,

This time, I was in the Sahara,

Inside it,

With rattlesnakes and vicious scorpions,

Then the Sahara opened its doors,

Not to let me in,but out,

Wow! Outside the Sahara,

It was a riveting bright white,

So pure and white, like the policemen who killed Floyd were,

On it, nothing was written to warn,

BLACK: We Are So Black But Pure Inside

By; Kenneth Sikuku

COME BACK

Sing me a song,

Like you used to,

Back when we were two in one,

Tell me those secrets you used to,

Those days you trusted me with your life,

Lean on my shoulder,

And wet on my shirt,

With your warm clear tears,

Sew my torn heart,

And call me dear,

Whisper into my ears,

Àm ready to hear,

Come and stay home,

I will be waiting for you here.

By: Kenneth Sikuku

KESTREL

Kestrel

by comfyflex

A northern bird up in the air

Flap flap flap

Glide on the wings of the wind

Hover high with your wand

Nay! stay not far!

play a while in my cove

Your goo;

an eyesore to the toiler

they know not 

thy food for a night is the rooster

I will be lief 

If you stay a while in my cove

Chime and sing to me 

song not heard by mere men

for your dwelling is up and far

hidden beyond the clouds

untouchable for the wastrel

Don't go away so soon

but if you must go

let deep slumber take me on a journey in this cove I found in the cliffs

Stay! sing a while before you flap!

DESPERATE FOR YOU

This wind is making trees sing,

And then the rain is watering the tune.

I cry,but the rain makes it seem like am not crying,

I have made promises and promised promises,

Yesterday, I was screaming your name,

But the sound of the thunder,over surpassed mine.

This cold am feeling,

It's like am in the Atlantic,

Only your hugs can make me warm,

And then,this fog makes me only see your face,

Yours, is the copyright of beauty.

By:Kenneth Sikuku

MINE

Your voice to me,now is rare,

Like the tune of the herp,

Communication was broken by situations unavoidable,

My mind thinks you have moved on,

My heart feels empty.

Yesterday I dreamt about you,

You were crying,

Thinking I had left you,

But you know I can never live without you,

My heart belongs to nobody else but you,

You are small,but my universe.

By:Kenneth Sikuku

HEART BROKEN

Grass is greener on the other side,

On this side,its drying up,

There's sundews on the other side,

On this side,you left me without even a droplet of water,

Butterflies on the other side,

My side,you left lifeless.

You left me while loving you,

You left me while am missing you,

You left me craving for you,

This pieces can never be brought back together,

But only with you.

By: Kenneth Sikuku

CORONA COLONISATION

21st century tragedy,

Some said it's a disaster,

While others a pandemic,

What about me?

It was a tragic disastrous pandemic.

A virus so disastrous that it earned titles,

The Novel covid 19,

The New covid 19,

The.......covid 19,

It scavenged the human race,

And grabbed the human territory,

Forced us into isolation and solitude,

The streets silent and void,

With only it roaming the streets,

Walking like it owns this place,

Like it earned it.

"But we are united to recapture what captured us."

By:Kenneth Skuku

COVID DISTANCED

We are apart but in sight